October Memories

There is a place for what we once knew
The days we chased each other uphill covered with dust
The days we held hands in buses and felt the adrenaline together
It was so addictive how we bent to listen on railroads
Until we felt the rhythm and friction of graceful music
How could we have known that we would be crushed someday?
How did we just breathe when everything felt right?
But now, I am affected by honks, rumbles … god any whistling forlorn
That I am glad I didn’t lose the pain

Forever became moments
Only from the place meant for us
This I didn’t know until I suffocated on dust reliving
Railroad memories, I became a fool alone
But I am glowing that I didn’t lose the pain
As if the emptiness I have felt vaporizes and enriches my skin
Because this is all people see when I fall to dust crying, chilled
By the idea of dirty little monsters paralyzing me when my back breaks
This is how I didn’t know how gigantic your warmness had been
I just couldn’t lose the pain

Three years now and I shouldn’t be the same
But I have mirrors spitting fumes and bullets … I pick cartridges
Metals I hold onto as frontiers of the memory
As how Lucifer has turned soft, to marvel at a perfect sky
We shouldn’t have prayed under the thatch of starry skies
Thinking we had a home before thunder unwrapped all we knew
All familiar evil turned into unceasing rustle for the Almighty
As if the chance to look inside your eyes electrocuted me into disarray
But I don’t want to forget the comfort love brings
That’s why I am glad I didn’t lose the pain

I remember, the surface of your lips, a type of sensuality
perfumed tension that made us listen to our kisses echo
beyond the restraint of convincing myself that I deserved you
I remember, the vacancy of my heart, the horror of living as a desert
Yearning for one drop of rain to rescue me from fizzling out
I remember, I kept loving you while you were stiff and unresponsive
I had a life; I just wanted you to be around
Like how your bosom beamed poetry and all I wanted was to read
I remember and this is why I am glad I didn’t lose the pain

© Eddy Ongili 2015