it never occurred to me that i could see the slow dripping of water
from the shower to the point i touched something solid from all the droplets
and it must have been my tear trying to survive
we came so far and you left me with this crave for water
and how do i stop this when i know how you love your pain
and the earth is a breeding ground
whereby you are in pain and i am wishing it is simpler for you
how do I make it stop?
why can’t it be you and i?
why can’t i repress myself from dreaming?
as how i stop myself from saying how you put me on sail
in a boat full of flowers and told me to close my eyes
until you had kissed each part of my face
but then as the boat went further ashore all i felt was this cold tempest
until my ribcage rammed my heart is when I understood that shipwrecks are pits for the death of communication
because now i speak a foreign language you don’t want to listen to
and i have been a wanderer ever since and
i can’t explain how i saw you standing on a cliff inexpressive
how did you leave me inside the boat
why did you go away?
when we have these moments we have to share
and how much we belong inside each other’s eyes
we could have had it all forever
i can burn my fingers reaching inside molten fire to collect
the tokens of memories and yet crave to burn some more
i can make you hear my cries before dust settles
to prove that dance floors are extremely open places
yet i would have to compose a song that will make us
shout to god to make everything stop
so that in silence we would acquire the songs of our time
i can draw the earth for the pleasure of feeling you close to me
and even when i lie on the ground it wouldn’t be enough
i can whisper your name under the moonlight
and attack my mind with the urgency of a firefly
i can draw candles and make an anniversary, each single day
and i would still be unsatisfied without you
i can lament on the state of my existence
but yet follow you to hollows you would reach to
and if you were to go deeper, i would continue digging
rapture me with gunfire and i’d have a name for each bullet hole
blind me with science and i’d show you the geography of your body
because i am unable to go from desiring you to silence
yet i have loved you in chaos that outwardly resemble silence
why is it this way?
why is it that when i am writing, you are the force behind my pen?
why is it that i am compelled to stay calm and yet inside i am a mess
why am i writing this while i can easily tell you
why is it that i am clinging to nothing yet your eyes have refused to make me stop
why can’t i discover a way of desiring you less each day
and if anyone would ask, how long has it been?
i would dig the ground for all the hair and skin i have lost waiting for you
but why do i keep hoping and praying when i can easily touch you?
(C) Eddy Ongili 2015